Karaoke songs and deserted island picks: Guardians' team superlatives

2 years ago

CLEVELAND — Who’s most athletic? Who’s the class clown? These are questions many of us had to vote for before summer break, naming classmates who best fit these categories. But who said this tradition needed to end in high school?

MLB.com decided to bring class superlatives to the clubhouse, asking nearly half the Guardians’ Opening Day roster to vote for teammates who best fit a list of categories — but these aren’t your standard high school superlatives.

Who received what titles? Let’s take a look:

We started with a simple category and it was a slam-dunk winner. We’ve seen Plesac make diving plays, show off his ridiculously quick pickoff move and take ground balls at shortstop during practice. There’s no surprise that he was the clear winner of this vote, though Rosario also picked up three nominations.

This is where things got a little personal. For full transparency, we had three players vote for themselves (and in a very confident manner), including McKenzie, Reyes and José Ramírez. But it was McKenzie who prevailed just slightly over Reyes, who was almost offended to even be asked the question, saying, “Come on, bro,” as if he was the only logical answer.

With the youngest team in the Majors, it’s not hard to find a baby face in the room, which is why we had our first three-way tie for a title. Nearly everyone who was polled answered either Clement, Miller or Morgan (or even all three) with a big laugh.

“If Owen shaves, 100%,” McKenzie said. “If he has facial hair, he’s fine. If Owen has no facial hair, he looks like he’s 12.”

Best person to share a deserted island with: No clear winner

There wasn’t a clear winner because everyone chose a different person for a different reason. Plesac picked Shane Bieber based on their close friendship. McKenzie thought Reyes would be hilarious. Miller and Clement picked Chang because he’d be the nicest person to be around. Bobby Bradley and Josh Naylor picked each other after breaking down just how savvy they are outdoors.

The rest of the group picked based on survival skills. Bieber thought Anthony Gose would do all the heavy lifting. Reyes thought Naylor would be able to kill any animal to keep him fed. And Austin Hedges was confident that Cal Quantrill would be the secret to survival.

“Sadly, I’d probably have to say Cal because he went to Stanford and he’s like super smart,” Hedges said. “And he’d be the one to like know how to start a fire and do all this stuff to survive. And he kills things. I’ve never killed anything on purpose.”

Best bromance: Quantrill and Hedges
Runner up: Clement and Miller

Speaking of Quantrill and Hedges, it’s no surprise if the two of them would be stranded on an island together that they’d be voted the best bromance in the clubhouse. For the entire duration of Spring Training, a sign hung above Hedges’ locker with an arrow pointing to the locker beside his (Quantrill’s) jokingly reading, “Hedges’ Daddy.”

Clement, Allen and Stephan drew all the votes for this one, making it impossible to decipher between the trio who was the clear favorite. But the best answer didn’t even place in the final rankings.

Who would Ramírez say is the most likely to win the lottery, but lose the ticket? His skipper, Terry Francona.

“I’d put me, too,” Francona said, with a big belly laugh when learning he received a vote.

Biggest drama queen: Allen, Quantrill, Hedges

This trio received an equal number of votes.

Most likely to star in his own reality show: Too many comical answers to pick a winner

Let’s allow the guys to speak for themselves with these ideas:

Plesac: “Hedges. He’d be like the super aggressive gym teacher.”

McKenzie: “I’m gonna make it Josey [Ramírez]. I feel like he’d be the best reality TV show star. He’s just a character. You could throw a camera in his face and [anything would be great.]”

Hedges: “Shane. Someone that’s talented and handsome and just has it all. Like if I was gonna watch anybody, I’d probably pick him. We need some guys to do more things. He’s done some things. You have to do some things to have an interesting reality show.”

Naylor: “Ernie. He’d be commentating something. Voiceovers, commentating, something. Honestly, that guy could be a reporter, bro. He’s sick. Like a big league broadcaster. He’s sick.”

Bieber: “Plesac. It could go so many different directions.”

Most likely to choose a boy band song for karaoke: Quantrill
Runner up: Reyes
Honorable mention: Bieber, Hedges

This wasn’t a category that was expected to have a clear-cut winner, but Quantrill raked in the votes.

“Cal walks up to like My Chemical Romance,” Hedges said. “I’m not gonna lie, it kind of fires me up. But I could definitely see him like if he had to sing a song, it’s like *NSYNC.”

This was a no brainer, according to the clubhouse, despite Hedges’ efforts to make a pitch for himself.

“I don’t think anybody could handle the scrutiny as well as I could,” Hedges said. “I’ve been publicly shamed multiple times and I’m not sure if any of my teammates have so they can’t handle it. But I can handle it.”